A Witch’s Survival Guide to the Dark Season

Every October, like clockwork the Muggles get excited…

Suddenly, there are 12 foot skeletons, ghosts hanging from trees, zombie brides on front lawns, plastic gravestones neatly arranged in flower beds and enough fake spider webbing to catch a burglar hiding in the bushes. 

And honestly? I love it. And am I not supposed to, as a witch happily out of the broom closet???

That old crone who has made her 8 year old self VERY proud often wanders around cemeteries???

I have spent a fair amount of my life talking to people who aren't technically in the room anymore, and I have absolutely love sitting quietly in the dark with a cup of brew, a candle and a tarot deck.

But I also enjoy a good Halloween decoration. Trust me, Home Sense and Michael’s (no, not a sponsor) see a fair bit more of me starting in late August. Give me a ridiculous inflatable skeleton doing yoga on someone's lawn and I will probably slow down to admire it. Because Halloween is fun, and I treat it as such.

Samhain, however, is something else entirely for me, and for many others around the world. 

For those of us who follow earth-based or witchcraft traditions, Samhain isn't simply Halloween with better candles. It marks a turning point, a threshold, a time associated with harvest, endings, remembrance and the beginning of the darker half of the year. And it is sacred. 

For me, Samhain has always carried a little more weight. It is the doorway between seasons, the liminal space, that which is between light and dark, between what was and what comes next. It's a time for remembering, honoring, releasing and, if we're being completely honest, occasionally staring at our own lives and thinking, “Well...that clearly needs to die.” Literally, figuratively…taken as you will. As a psychic medium who enjoys wandering through cemeteries, I'm probably not the person you want giving overly specific disclaimers about that.

I also love how things change. The leaves on the trees move from greens to oranges and reds. The air is cooler. Everything is getting quieter. The living world seems to slow down just enough that the places we usually rush past suddenly feel different. I don't find that frightening. In fact, I find it extremely comforting.

Maybe that's one of the things I love most about this time of year. Samhain gives us permission to acknowledge something our modern culture spends an awful lot of time avoiding...

Everything ends. 

This time of year is about the universe leaning over and saying, “Sweetheart, you can put that down now.” And honestly...Thank the Old Gods for that. And it is time to listen. But while we are figuring out how to do that, here are a few things to keep in mind, so you don’t lose yours.

Survival Rule #1: You Do Not Have to Explain Yourself to the Muggles

One of the great joys of being a witch in the modern world is realizing that you don't actually have to explain every single thing you do. Light the candle because it makes your home feel happy. Pull a tarot card because you're looking for perspective. Leave an offering for your ancestors. Set an extra place and have supper with them. Visit a cemetery and talk to someone who has crossed over. Sit under the moon and contemplate your life.

And if someone asks what you're doing, you are allowed to say...“Having tea.”

Not everything requires a TED Talk. Your neighbour does not need a twelve-slide presentation on liminality, ancestral connection and the history of Samhain because they saw you carrying a black candle into your house. Sometimes the most powerful part of being a witch is knowing what is yours to share and what is simply yours.

Survival Rule #2: Halloween Is Allowed to Be Fun

You don't have to poo-poo Halloween because you're a witch. You also don't have to pretend Halloween and Samhain are interchangeable. They can coexist, just as they have for hundreds of years, if not more. 

Let Halloween the be costumes, candy, spooky movies and plastic skeletons doing questionable things on people's front lawns. Let Samhain be quieter.

Let it be a candle on the table to facilitate contact with someone who is no longer here. Let it be the walk through the cemetery on a dreary moon lit night. Let it be the ritual for releasing something that has run its course. Or simply let it be sitting in the dark for a spell and actually taking time to listen to yourself. Only you get to decide what your practice looks like.

And if your Samhain ritual involves a cauldron, a beautifully arranged altar, three hours of ancestral meditation and handmade beeswax candles...

So mote it be.

If it involves putting on your pajamas, making tea and telling everyone to leave you the hell alone...

Make it so! Cause this practice is yours, Witches!

Survival Rule #3: Rest Before You Start Calling It a Spiritual Crisis

This one might be my favourite. Because let’s face it, Witches need rest too, and how many of us consistently remember to do it. 

In truth, I would argue that modern witches probably need it more than ever.  We live in a world that has somehow conditioned us that being exhausted means we're doing life correctly. That Boss Baba Yaga lifestyle that gets us all the Tik Tok followers isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. 

We're supposed to work, create, produce, answer messages, maintain relationships, take care of everyone else, improve ourselves, manifest our dreams, keep the house clean and apparently remember to drink enough water. Meanwhile, the trees are literally dropping their leaves and going, “Nope. I'm done. See you in the spring.” Mother Nature has a point. 

Samhain is a beautiful reminder that dormancy is not death and rest is not laziness. Quiet is not emptiness and stepping away from the noise does not mean you've lost your magic. Sometimes your most witchy act is cancelling something… anything…slow the heck down! 

Turn off your phone. Put on warm socks. Make soup. Go outside. Take a nap. Or sit in your favourite chair with a blanket and refuse to be productive for the evening. In any form.

Survival Rule #4: Honour the Dead, But Don't Forget the Living

So, I am particularly guilty of this one. But let’s face it, the dead often are a more peaceful bunch. As a medium, I have a particular fondness for this part of Samhain.

I love the opportunity to remember the people who came before us. The ones whose stories shaped our families. The people we knew and loved. The people whose names we may only know from old photographs or stories told around a kitchen table. They tell us the past so we are less likely to mess up the future. 

But I think there is a danger in becoming so focused on the dead that we forget to appreciate the people who are still sitting beside us. So…

Call someone and tell them you love them. Make the damn casserole and drop it on someone’s doorstep. Take the picture, especially of the women we know. The photographer in me knows just how often we need to see ourselves from the perspective of others and not from that of the selfie stick. Ask your grandmother about her childhood, listen to her story you've heard a hundred times. Because one day, that story may be the only thing you have left.

Samhain isn't only about remembering those who have crossed the veil. Perhaps it is an invitation to actually be here, present in this moment too!

Survival Rule #5: Some Things Are Supposed to Stay Dead

If we're going to celebrate a season of death, let's talk about the things we probably shouldn't resurrect. Like that ugly relationship you keep getting drawn back to. That version of yourself who survived by making herself smaller. That guilt you've been carrying for ten years. That belief that you have to make everyone happy. You get the drift…

Sometimes we spend an extraordinary amount of energy trying to resurrect things that have already completed their purpose. We keep digging up old relationships, old habits and old versions of ourselves, wondering why the hell they still stink. And Samhain gives us the perfect reminder that not everything needs to be brought back to life. Some things have served their purpose, taught us what they could, and are now taking up entirely too much space in our spiritual graveyard.

Bury it.

Do it with the cord-cutting ritual, seventeen crystals and a moon-water ceremony, or whatever you need to purge yourself of the energy. Light the candles, call in your guides, have a little dramatic moment in the woods... I'm not judging. Just remember that no amount of moon water is going to help if you keep digging the damn thing back up every time you get lonely or nostalgic.

Acknowledge that it's finished, thank it for whatever it taught you (even if the lesson was to get better taste in partners), and let it rest. You have better things to do than spend your life haunting your own damn self.

Survival Rule #6: Keep a Little Mystery

Perhaps the biggest piece of advice I have for surviving Samhain in a world of Muggles is this... don't explain everything.

We still live in a culture that wants everything labelled, measured, categorized and packaged into something easily digestible. You know, that thirty-second video mentality we've all become hooked on. If we can't explain something in three bullet points, preferably with a trending soundtrack, apparently it doesn't exist.

Yet it is also ok to let some things just be a mystery to those who aren’t ready to fully understand. Our deeper intuition, and all things that fall into my favorite category of life…”Thing’s You Just Can’t Make Up”, not to mention the arcane knowledge that seems to be lost in translation. 

As a psychic medium, I have a particular appreciation for the unexplained. Not everything needs to be dissected, debated or explained away before we're allowed to find meaning in it. And no, not every raven is delivering a message from the Otherworld... sometimes it's just a raven being a raven. But occasionally, something happens that makes you stop and think, well, that was bloody interesting.

Stay curious. Ask questions. Use your discernment, but leave a little room for wonder. You don't have to convince the sceptics, explain your practice to every curious Muggle, or provide a PowerPoint presentation every time something strange happens. Some things are personal, some things are sacred, and some things are simply nobody else's business.

Besides, if we already knew everything, life would be terribly boring. And what on earth would we talk about with the dead?

Survival Rule #7: Don't Make Everything a Spiritual Emergency

Being a witch doesn't mean every bad day is a spiritual awakening, every argument is a karmic lesson, and every inconvenience is Mercury personally trying to ruin your life. Sometimes you're not experiencing an energetic blockage... sometimes you just need a nap and a sandwich.

By all means, cleanse your space, pull your cards and protect your energy. But remember that sometimes the universe isn't sending you a sign. Sometimes it's giving you an opportunity to use your common sense, set a boundary, or finally deal with the thing you've been avoiding for six months.

You can be deeply spiritual without turning every waking moment into an investigation of your energetic circumstances. The magic is wonderful, but so is a little practical thinking. And if you're three hours into researching whether that strange noise in your house is a spirit, a portal or an ancestral warning, perhaps check whether the dog knocked something over first.

The spirits can wait. Your sanity, on the other hand, might appreciate the break.

So, How Does a Witch Actually Survive?

Breathe. Slow down. Be Intentional. Light the candle and pull the cards. Leave the offering. Laugh at the ridiculous Halloween decorations, or shake your head. No judgement here folks. 

Most importantly, remember that you don't need to prove yourself to anyone but you. 

So be strange. Be curious. Be you. 

And go sit somewhere quiet. Remember, the veil is thinning. And sometimes…

So is your patience.

Happy Samhain, Witches!